hiatus

I've taken a hiatus from the Blog Hunter column. I know I needed to do it for a variety of reasons but I still feel a little strange. I am not sure when or if I will carve out the time and space to do that again. I wonder if anyone will even notice the column is missing? In time maybe I won't even notice, and the Blog Hunter will be just a footnote in my history.

Hiatus, it sounds like such a fancy word. What I really should have said is that I'm taking an extended time out. There's the mommy talking......

Maybe just a shift, and just like an older car, it can be hard to change gears once you've been in one awhile. Clearly this is not a mechanic talking.

Lysol bomb

I have been joking with everyone I meet lately that my house needs a "Lysol bomb". What put me over the edge was finding out DD#2 had step throat. I like to use antibiotics only when needed but upon hearing this latest addition to the family petri dish I quickly mentioned my other kids sore throats and tummy aches to the nurse to ensure their very own 10- day regimens. After remembering our early morning cuddle in mom and dad's bed with the germy girl I promptly called my own doctor as well. It wasn't too hard of a sell to get a RX for my husband and me. Mention the word strep and people run screaming away from you. Now the question is, will this work? Can we kill all bacteria in a 10 day period and drive other viruses far far away?

As long as the kids keep leaving the house and breathing near other children I'd have to say no but I can always dream . But for now the hand washing speech will have to do. You'll know things have gone down hill if you happen to drive by a house with a huge plastic bubble drapped over it with Lysol printed in big, bold, blue letters.

flu babies

They ALL have the flu. The school week has been 1 out of 5 for DS and 2 1/4 out of 5 for DD#1. She came home early Wednesday after repeatedly trying to tell her teacher that her throat hurt during Mass. She can be a bit ummm, dramatic and so her tears were brushed off by all until the school nurse took her temperature and it was near 100. She came home, perked up and I was left wondering just what was going on as her temp was normal each time I took it with my trusty ear thermometer. By the end of the day every child was pasty feverish mess.

After a night of feverish children with DS and DD#3 throwing up, a group pediatrician visit was in order the next morning. Again at home with my trusty ear thermometer DD#1 had no temperature. Of all the kids she looked the best and I wondered if I had called it wrong keeping her home with the rest. But I reminded myself that temperature was not always an accurate reflection of how she felt. She always has been one tough cookie. As a baby she would get ear infections that only became evident in hindsight as I would take her to the pediatrician after not being able to soothe my grouchy angry baby.

So I about fell over in the exam room after explaining DD#1's history when the nurse said, " yup she' s got a temp of 100". Guess what not so trusty device of mine is headed to the garbage can? At least the batteries inside will be headed that way! And the kicker is this, she didn't even say "told ya so". It might have been easier if she had b/c right now I feel terrible for misjudging her this week.

Did I mention DH is returning home tonight? Some guys have all the luck.

play time

Well we are one week into the school year. Thankfully the meltdown of last week was just the first day. DS#1 and DD#1 are getting into the routine of things, while DD#2 and DD#3 are taking over the house during the day. Right now they are making a choo-choo out of three wooden chairs and a plastic baby doll changing table. I've been summoned. So before they drag me away I will plug my newest blog. www.dairy-free.blogspot.com Only one post is up but go ahead and tell me what you think.

back to school '05

Oh boy....I walked my kids into school this morning and DD#1 melted down in the classroom when it was time for me to leave. She was excited about going to school until right until we walked into the school doors. The kids had to wait in the hallway a little bit and that was my first clue that this wasn't going to be easy. I feel bad for her and I feel bad for me. She gets herself worked up and I don't think I'm very good at helping her to calm herself. She is young for her class and that doesn't help matters. So I had to leave her outside her classroom with the school counselor crying and didn't get to give a wave to my son outside his classroom. Ugh. NOT the way I wanted them to start the school year.

So I will do my best to keep myself on HER side and not feel aggravated. This mothering thing is not all sweetness and light, lemme tell ya. But I know in my heart that the more accepted she feels the sooner this will pass over. I don't know if she' ll think that I understand her behavior but hopefully she'll know that I love her no matter what.

Mothering is not for wimps. Hopefully I will have a cheerier post tomorrow.

the fun begins

Wow! I am posting tonight from the fancy schmancy computer that was passed on to us from my Dad. Blogger works so much better with a newer browser.

Let's try putting a link in. I am taking up the blogging challenge over at http://www.fwmn.blogspot.com Eventually I will get this and the other blog in the making looking cool like the other blogs, but for now you'll just have to put up with my haphazard self improvement. What we really need is a "blog spa" in which you could just log on and get spruced up.

So ends day two.

summer break

It looks like I've taken a summer break right along with the kids. Apologies to anyone who has stopped by here in the last few months looking for something new because you didn't find it here!

How about a back to school resolution? New posts each week!

Now for catch up, my youngest daughter (now to be known as DD#3)broke her arm the weekend before the Fourth of July. So she has been unable to swim until last Friday when her cast came off. We are escaping the Midwest heat and heading up to the lake today.

DD#2 has a wicked milk allergy and I'm finding she's not alone. As a service to her and others who are done in by dairy I am creating a dairy-free blog. More to come on that in the next few weeks.

DS and DD#1 begin school in almost two weeks. It's very busy with the four at home and I'm sure I've been grouchier than they would have liked. Granted they also would like to have ice cream at each meal..... but still nothing like a grouchy mom to ruin a good time.

Well DD#3 has turned on "the jump song" so I need to run and go dance with girls.

literally speaking.....

At mass this weekend our priest gave a homily on the seven fruits of the Holy Spirit and how these gifts become more evident in our lives as we draw closer to God. He asked at one point for us to look inside ourselves to really see what was in our hearts.
My oldest daughter nudged me and asked, "How do I do that? I don't know how to look inside myself."

At her age things are still quite literal, concrete, and black and white. The same is true for her brother. When trying to explain nuances and other shades of gray to them I can practically see the steam coming from their ears as their tiny circuits overload.

life is messy, take pictures!

Here I am again. Our Spring Break was awesome and thankfully nothing at all like the "vacation" one mom had on e-bay. You know the one who sold "the ball that started it all". If you have no idea what I'm talking about go to

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5569872897


I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because I have been there. I really need to get a digital camera so I can have proof of all the crazy stuff that goes on. Life is messy, take pictures!

Forgiveness

I am posting an excerpt of a book entitled," Enjoy Your Precious Life" by Fr. John T.Catoir, JCD published by Alba House. For ordering information please go to their website at www.albahouse.org. This could be a life changing book if you allow it to be. Here goes, portions from pages 133-134 and page 135.

HOW DO I FORGIVE WHEN I AM STILL ANGRY?

In order to forgive someone from the heart, you do not need to have good feelings toward that person. Forgiveness is not a feeling. If you are angry, and the other person doesn't give you the satisfaction of asking for forgiveness, it may seem impossible to forgive. Don't believe your feelings. With God all things are possible.

You don't wait until you feel like forgiving. You may never feel like it. That doesn't matter, God asks for forgiveness anyway. Do it for Him, and for yourself. The Lord asks you to forgive for good reason. He wants you to be healed, He wants you to have the fullness of Joy. How can you not forgive?

To forgive you just will it!

True forgiveness is in the will. Do not wait for warm cozy feelings to begin the process. Your feelings will catch up in time. Do it now. Be patient about the results. You give "forgiveness" before you feel like it. You "fore-give" the gift of forgiveness, before you feel good about it. Do it anyway.

In this way you show the Lord that you will not cling to your resentment like a dog with a bone. You drop it and walk away. When bad feelings come back toward that person, say a short prayer for him or her. "My Jesus mercy. Have mercy on him and mercy on me." You need help and God will give it. Repeat your prayer over and over until the feelings subside, and they will.

In time you will actually forget why you were so angry in the first place. Forgiveness heals the soul. Let go, and let God.

ONE MORE QUOTE FROM PAGE 135

Once you admit that you are too enraged to love, much less forgive, then you are making progress. Turn immediately to the Lord for help.
He knows that your anger is justified. He doesn't ask you to deny your feelings. When He asks you to forgive, He is not saying, "what happened doesn't matter.".........
Why does Jesus want us to forgive? Because hate disqualifies a person from entering heaven, and He wants us with Him for all eternity.

Fr. Catoir quotes (Matthew 11:29, 19:26) Learn of me for I am meek and humble of heart,....with man it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible


I cannot say it any better than this book.

everything in its place

Lightning struck this morning as I thought of yet another organizing tactic. Everything in its place. Looking at my kitchen you would never believe I could think of such a thing, but I did. It's not an original thought by any means. I think I actually lifted the thought from somewhere else, I just can't remember where I heard it first. No wait, I think it was in Vicki Iovinne's Girlfriend's Guide to Getting Your Groove Back. A woman ( as told to Vicki)makes sure that she can be found in certain areas of her home at specific times during the day to give her kids a sense of comfort and security. The whole 'if I go there I know I will find Mom' thing. Sounds simple, right?

I must have been ruminating on that in the back of my head somewhere because this morning I thought to myself, why not organize myself by place more often. I'm sure this isn't foolproof and things will pop up; but if I make the effort more often to be in certain places at certain times maybe the tasks associated with those places will be accomplished more often. Example, time in the kitchen = kitchen chores getting done, time at the computer = writing getting done.

This just might work, afterall we already show up at church on Sunday mornings because that is what we do. Most times it works out that it is meaningful and uplifting whether or not we felt like getting out of our pajamas that particular morning. Maybe there really is something to the saying that 90% of anything is just showing up. Now the trick will be if I can just show up a little bit earlier. Oh yeah, HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY!

here and there

I have not been an up to date blogger lately. I used to have a schedule of blogging during my daughter's preschool hours. Things just had to get done and my blogging got put on the shelf. Not a great thing for someone who actually writes a column about blogs! Oh well, the recent edition has been emailed off and hopefully I will slack no more.

Not alot of zest here as I reread this post. I guess like most things in life, sometimes you have to just do it badly rather than not blog at all. Go visit www.fortwaynereader.com and check out the Blog Hunter to see what I've been writing there while I haven't been blogging here.

higher purpose

The other day I wondered if blogs could be used to promote charities or social services. For instance, would a resident at a battered women's shelter be able,if she were given the resources, to blog about her experiences as a way for a) her to work through and process what had gone on in her life b) for readers to be able to view her experience as she told it. I'm not thinking so much of the tabloid tell all variety of blog but a blog from the point of view of someone who normally cannot tell her story. This wouldn't even need to be only focused on women, it could include anyone who has made or is on a journey for example an adult learning to read.

Would these stories promote any kinds of connections like volunteering or donations to organizations that help people in need?

The very important concern left is privacy. Can it be guaranteed? How?

Is this already happening and I am just unaware?

Yesterday I broke down and bought a Snapple iced tea from a vending machine. One sip in the car and the taste brought me back to my sophomore year of college in DC. Drinking the iced tea brought back memories of walking around DC and studying/gazing out the window at the same wooden table in a mulitstory library. I haven't thought about those things in years. 4 kids will do that I guess.

It's funny how food does that. A particular taste can bring you back in time. A good plate of chicken or beef chow fun brings me back to my best friend's family's kitchen in San Francisco. It's steamy warmth and greasy noodles take me right back to their round white formica table that we crowded around for after school snacks and dinners. I can see her mom taking business calls right next to us, switching back and forth between english and chinese in a single conversation. Here's the funny thing about chow fun...I only recall eating it one time there before my family moved from San Francisco to DC. Somehow that one meal was enough to color my memories in a distinctly grey San Francisco hue.

backseat critic

I have a confession to make. I sing while driving, especially when I've got my captive audience of two snuggled in their carseats. I turn the radio up and belt out whichever tune I know the words to as I work the scan button for all its worth. It never used to be a problem. I could handle any strange looks from my roadside companions. They were driving so fast they surely didn't notice little ol' me contorting my face like Tina Turner. I only subjected my youngest girls to my obnoxious vocal stylings. To be honest style has little to do with it, I just like to pretend I'm a rock star.

That all ended today. I cranked up Tina Marie's Glamorous Life when it came on because a)I hardly ever hear the song b) my musical taste is a product of the eighties. I started singing and all of a sudden I heard," NO,NO,NO,NO,NO" from my remaining child in the backseat. The chorus didn't stop till I stopped singing. There was a giggle, then I started again and so did she,"NO, NO, NO,NO,NO". I guess at 22 months she is forming an opinion. Apparently she gives mommy's singing a thumbs down. Maybe I've got another Simon Cowell in the making...

lost my glue?

Why is it that I can drive down the road and think of a million things to blog about but when I sit down I can't thing of a single thing that seems worthwhile to actually type? Oh well, this is my site and that's just the way it is for now.

Yup, this is my site, my plain jane vanilla site. I really ought to make myself learn some html to spruce it up a bit. It's going to become embarassing after a while reviewing all the cool blogs as the Blog Hunter and then having them visit this blogsite. It's as though I'm a restaurant critic who's only skill in the kitchen is making toast. Aaagh!

odds and ends on Fat Tuesday

My youngest will be two in April. I hate to say it but I think she is outgrowing her nap. It doesn't seem possible but right now instead of sleeping she is talking to her Blue's Clues doll. She fell asleep on the way to take her big sis to preschool and that is all it took to screw up nap time. Meanwhile I have been looking at every calorie available in my kitchen with new found choosiness. As any mom knows it is way too easy to just pick off of your kids plates and call it a meal or a snack. Lent begins tomorrow and so does my Lenten self-improvement program. So today in honor of Fat Tuesday I am taking the kids out for doughnuts after school. My only concern is the possible milk in the doughnuts. As my Dad would say, "#3" has a milk allergy and I really don't want her itching for the rest of the week. Anyone know of a good milk free recipe site?

Fort Wayne

I was too busy living last week (aka being mommy) to respond to the Men's Health ranking of Fort Wayne as America's dumbest city. There was a follow-up in USA Today as well in which they searched for intelligent life and were mostly sure they found it. Gloria Diaz wrote in her Fort Wayne Reader column that as a city we have a problem with low-self esteem.

Maybe. I don't think that as a city we're necessarily shuffling along looking at our shoes as the world passes us by. I think we have a case of growing pains. Since our family moved here in 2001 there has been steady growth in the greater Fort Wayne area. Housing, hospitals, retail shops have all changed the face of Fort Wayne. It really is a case of midwestern modesty gone awry. For all that the city offers Fort Wayne really isn't advertised as the forward thinking family friendly city that it is becoming. Sometimes it's easy to miss the roses growing in your own backyard. Familiarity shouldn't have to breed contempt.

For all those who dismiss Fort Wayne as just another speck on the map on a cross country flight, I say look again.

Off roading in a pram

This post falls in the category of, "there's more than one way to use an item". We have a miniature white doll pram that my daughter received for her 3rd birthday years ago. While it sees plenty of action in a nice ,"let's push our dollies around" kind of way it also serves as my baby's personal ATV when she piles every toy in the room in the pram and then tries to drive it over a pile of laundry to be folded. Really I ought to get a digital camera, I don't think my description does it justice. Or there's my son's favorite use for the pram, a military vehicle from which he shoots a hobby horse upside down somehow mounted through the pram. Don't tell me that the y chromosome means nothing.

That's the trouble. I am an only child so I have no experience watching the full of y boy get molded into a still full of y man. I am starting to realize that what I thought were a great deal of personality differences between my children were actually more along the great gender divide.

I am reading a great book right now titled, "The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian. He also wrote, "The Wonder of Girls" which was equally amazing. Somehow he has hit it right on the head. I highly recommend these books to anyone who has ever puzzled over boys and girls.

Alone at last

Finally, back to the routine again. It's nice to have the house to myself while the baby sleeps and the kids are at school. Funny that an only child should grow up and create so much company for herself! As my cousin says, it's all good. Weird to have that typed by my hands. Hmmm, maybe Martha Stewart herself is using that bit of slang in her new digs. By now she must be more or less settled in and perhaps shelling a few chickpeas for hummus for a a few hundred or so.

Gee maybe this is why I'm not alone so much anymore, there's just no telling what I'll type. Till next time.

spaghetti facial

Looks like it will be more of the same today. School is closed for the third day following an ice storm here in the midwest. Hmmm....What to do with the kids? Library? If it is safe enough to drive there. Definitely one of those days where any type of indulgent self care will be in short supply; the kind of day where the steam from draining the spaghetti counts as a facial! Maybe we'll just build another blanket tent.

When I surface again maybe there will be something more intriguing to blog about.

Where's my Alice?

We live in a Brady Bunch house. I can prove it just by showing you all the dark wood paneling. The kind homeowners we bought it from took the time to update quite a few things such as carpet and drapes; but underneath it all it still a seventies era house. I wouldn't be surprised at all to find Peter Brady's brown plaid pants in some corner of the attic.

Now here's my question; where's my Alice? Wasn't she supposed to come with the house? There was never an episode of the Brady Bunch without her puttering in the kitchen or sprucing up the family room after those Brady kids ran through it. I think I got taken on this deal because right now there is nothing very tidy or orderly about this house. Not after having the kids home for two weeks.

Oh well, maybe the next house we'll buy from the Jetson's. Only then we'll tell them Rosie has to stay.