Just a Tuesday morning

This morning I let my two youngest girls be raised by public television. I knew it would happen. The deadline for my new column came and went yesterday so today I had to cement myself to the chair and get it written and emailed off to the editor. That's pretty bad, blowing your first deadline! So it's out there now. Hopefully in one week it can be read on the Fort Wayne Reader website. www.fortwaynereader.com

Now if I could just figure out this comment thing. People tell me that they are leaving comments but I haven't seen any posted but my very own. Hmmm. Do I have a doppelganger out there?

chess anyone?

Last night we brought our youngest to the ER with a gash on her forehead. She ran headlong, tripped and fell, and cut her head. Lots of blood and tears later I held her hand as she was being sewn up by a plastic surgeon. This experience confirms two things for me. One the sport for our children will have to be chess. Two, I am going back to the Johnny Cochrane method of parenting, "if you hit you must sit" now will have to have a companion saying for running in the house. Maybe "if you run you'll have no fun?" Nah, but I really don't want to go through that again.

In the moment

Anna Quindlen once wrote,"exhaust the little moment". I don't know if I'm up for that, especially when I am just plain exhausted by the moment itself. In all seriousness, there is something to be said for being in the moment. Children, especially babies and toddlers, have their own ways of keeping you in the moment. My youngest daughter of almost 20 months will pull me by the hand to drag me back into her moment. With my kids the moment can be exhausting especially when each wants his or her cookie, book, answer, drink or whatever NOW! The little moments do come as often as you let them. Often I notice the autumn sky as I pull into our driveway fresh from my latest errand. Or if I actually get down on the floor beside my toddler to view things from her perspective. I can almost see why string is so exciting to her, almost. It's a balancing act to be sure, learning to let myself be immersed in their moment while teaching them to begin to understand that their moment co-exists along side everyone else's including mine! Speaking of moments, at this very moment I need to be in the car. Till next time....

Mommy's got a blog

Mommy's got a blog and she's not afraid to use it. Would that really work as a threat? I have a second and a first grader and I am starting to teeter on the edge of invincibility. Especially my second grader, I can see the wheels turning in his head as I yet again tell him we'll have to google the answer to the question he asked. Hey, a mom can only know so many things about sharks and bats. But I can see him wondering," if she doesn't know that simple question, what else doesn't she know?" And it goes downhill from there, because in their minds if I don't have all those important answers to shark and bat questions, maybe they really don't need to take a shower, eat in the kitchen, do their homework, and the list goes on and on. Hmmm. What's a mom to do but threaten to publicize their misdeeds on the internet through her blog. Could it work? Sadly I know the answer is just the opposite. "Cool mom!" is the likely response from them. "Could you tell them about the time I...." Oh never mind. I think I'll just go back to "because I said so"

Halloween parade

Last week I went to my preschooler's Halloween parade. It was awfully cute, a bunch of 3-5 year olds marching around a gym in their costumes. My daughter actually walked and waved just like the princess she was dressed like. Dressing up is so magical for children. They can be whoever they want just by trying on clothes or a hat.

As adults we don't allow ourselves or even others that freedom very often. Somehow as we go through school and out into our jobs, marriages, and families we get this notion that there is one way to be. Having a baby can be very jarring as far as this notion is concerned. Some new moms go from the boardroom to the delivery room and then ask themselves which room now?

I had the luxury of taking the time to decide after my son was born. Up until I delivered I assumed that I would go back to work after taking my maternity leave. However once we brought him home, I don't think I left our green rocking chair for months. He was five weeks early and days turned into weeks during which he learned to wake up enough to eat. Those weeks turned into months as I realized that a)what I had been earning would not cover child care and b) I didn't really want to go back to doing what I was doing if it meant leaving my son with a stranger. I really didn't ponder it much further before I was pregnant with our daughter. Two babies in less than two years put me in crisis management mode and career management went to the back burner. It's a good thing too.

Having my hand forced like that made me take a long hard look at what I wanted. I realized that what I wanted first was my family and then when I knew where I wanted to fit it a career. Not that there weren't plenty of days where my plan seemed to have majorly backfired. A person can only deal with toddlers and the trailing mess they leave behind for so long before visions of a solo trip to a secluded beach pop into mind. The beauty of guided imagery aside, it was and is more helpful to say to myself, this too shall pass.

You know what? It did pass and now I am able to carve out time to write. Slowly but surely I will one day have a collection of things in print. For now they will just have to be on this blog. Till next time.