Halloween parade

Last week I went to my preschooler's Halloween parade. It was awfully cute, a bunch of 3-5 year olds marching around a gym in their costumes. My daughter actually walked and waved just like the princess she was dressed like. Dressing up is so magical for children. They can be whoever they want just by trying on clothes or a hat.

As adults we don't allow ourselves or even others that freedom very often. Somehow as we go through school and out into our jobs, marriages, and families we get this notion that there is one way to be. Having a baby can be very jarring as far as this notion is concerned. Some new moms go from the boardroom to the delivery room and then ask themselves which room now?

I had the luxury of taking the time to decide after my son was born. Up until I delivered I assumed that I would go back to work after taking my maternity leave. However once we brought him home, I don't think I left our green rocking chair for months. He was five weeks early and days turned into weeks during which he learned to wake up enough to eat. Those weeks turned into months as I realized that a)what I had been earning would not cover child care and b) I didn't really want to go back to doing what I was doing if it meant leaving my son with a stranger. I really didn't ponder it much further before I was pregnant with our daughter. Two babies in less than two years put me in crisis management mode and career management went to the back burner. It's a good thing too.

Having my hand forced like that made me take a long hard look at what I wanted. I realized that what I wanted first was my family and then when I knew where I wanted to fit it a career. Not that there weren't plenty of days where my plan seemed to have majorly backfired. A person can only deal with toddlers and the trailing mess they leave behind for so long before visions of a solo trip to a secluded beach pop into mind. The beauty of guided imagery aside, it was and is more helpful to say to myself, this too shall pass.

You know what? It did pass and now I am able to carve out time to write. Slowly but surely I will one day have a collection of things in print. For now they will just have to be on this blog. Till next time.