Poison in the Well

Colbert King beat me to it.  Yesterday I started ranting about the poison emitting virus to which a sizable number of citizens have been infected.
   
   There is a poison absorbing all the air in the room.  Naturally Americans have turned to look at this spectacle and some have sadly been infected by this poison emitting virus.  I hate to go full Harry Potter and take the "he who must not be named" approach but this virus is more than happy to proclaim itself wherever there is a microphone and camera.  In fact the virus is such a phenomenon that microphone and camera seem to follow wherever it's destructive path leads.
    The poison that spills forth has clouded the eyes and disoriented the inner compass of those in its grip.  What is presented as strength and resolve is just a viral masquerade for a power grab unlike anything modern Americans have ever seen.  These poisoned voters are being infected with vitriol and intolerance spewed forth and injected by this virus.
    The virus, while opportunistic and harmful, is actually not the greatest of our concerns as a country.  Of vital importance is addressing what has left a significant portion of our population susceptible to this virus and its poison.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trump-the-authoritarians-candidate-of-choice/2016/03/04/2840f798-e15c-11e5-9c36-e1902f6b6571_story.html

Colbert King beat me to it.

A Question of Trust

Elections come down to the question of trust, which candidate do you trust more?  Americans need to think about a more important question as they vote, which party trusts them?  Democrats have this paternalistic quality in which they want to "take care" of Americans with the unspoken theme that government knows best, particularly the federal government.  Republicans want Americans to take care of themselves as much as possible.

It's a question of trust.  Democrats view society's problems and their first impulse is to legislate them away.  Admittedly it is difficult to not want to take the reigns of society when there is so much chaos in the news.  It's incredibly hard to watch people fail and not do something to help them.  We have a social safety net with programs like welfare, food stamps, medicare and medicaid.  However our safety net has become sticky rather than springy.  It ensnares and entraps people rather than giving them a much needed bounce to propel them forward.  Democrats use this stickiness to their advantage and try to create fear in the electorate that something vital is being taken away.  What voters ought to fear is that their very self-respect is being eaten away with each silky thread added to this so called safety net.  Each tendril that appears to embrace us and shield us from supposed harm in fact wraps us and keeps us in this net, this sticky web of government dependence.    I don't think Americans ever would have supported these programs had they realized the supposed cushion that they were intended to provide would indeed be used to suffocate America.

Republicans are left to combat this image of being  the party that takes away when in all honesty they are the party that gives to America.  Republicans give to individual Americans the respect that they deserve.  Republicans give to each of us the trust that it is our individual rights that are upheld by a limited government.  I don't want to be sorted into any group by the government.  When it comes down to it everyone would like to be viewed as an individual not just a conglomeration of quantifiable attributes such as age, race, gender, or religion to name just a few.   I want to be trusted to use my own resources to help others in the way that is meaningful to me.

 I want to be trusted to fail.  I want to be trusted to fall down and pick myself back up and try again.  I want to be trusted to do that over and over again if necessary.  It's not that I have a desire to fail or that I want anyone to root for me to fail; I don't.   I want the opportunity to try and the freedom to try what I want and in the manner I see fit to attempt it.  Republicans have trust in the individual citizen.  They believe in me that I have the right to trust in myself and my God and to act according to my conscience.
Billy Joel - A Matter of Trust

Manners Matter

 My kids will tell you I'm obsessive about manners.  Did you say please and thank you?  Say excuse me or pardon me when you do x, y, or z.  The list goes on and on.  I comment on their tv shows to point out not so nice behavior.  In fact, i-carly is no longer welcome in our home, especially when I am within earshot.  Why?  Because of the rude side kick. 
 
Rudeness rules the day in our political culture.  Just listen to any talk show, tv or otherwise.  It's become perfectly okay to talk about others who disagree with your point of view with viciousness.   When it suits someone's agenda people are called out for their rude behavior and comments.  I don't think that one group in particular is more worthy than others to be protected from attack.  Sadly these attacks come from all sides.  We've stopped recognizing that the person on the other side has a soul, they are merely some label to be attacked.

You see rudeness on the playground and the internet and everywhere in between.    It's all about one upping someone else with a snarky comment.   We see it and laugh.  We think it's funny to watch someone get made fun of or laughed at.  A comment that has sadly made it's way into my kids' vocabulary is, " you got owned."   Aside from being grammatically incorrect, it bugs me on another level.  

The Emmancipation Proclamation happened more than a century ago to free American slaves yet somehow we let ourselves talk about each other in this way?  No, no matter how wrong I am or what stupid thing I do or say, nobody owns me.  I belong to Christ because I was made in his image and have a unique soul.  That is the only way I recognize being "owned".  That is the only way I want my kids to recognize being owned.  That is the only way I want them to see the world around them. 

I insist on manners because using courtesy recognizes the dignity of each person.   Manners acknowledge the soul. Not everyone sees it this way.  Some think of manners as a function of upbringing and a tool of snobbery.  Manners at their most basic are not a weapon but a universal language (albeit sometimes a function of culture when getting down to the nitty gritt details of personal space and eye contact) used to acknowledge each other's personhood, their soul.    The great commandment, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, predates any etiquette guide.   

Treating people with respect and expecting the same treatment in return is a powerful way to witness to the presence of Christ in all of us. 

Message in an aisle

I was all set to go to Mass this morning but somehow I lost track of time and it didn't happen.  I thought it might be rude to show up during the homily.   So I went grocery shopping earlier than planned.  As I wandered up and down the aisles looking for a needed, or at the very least wanted, product to fulfill the 10 items for a bunch cheaper deal I ran into a mom I knew from ballet.   She informed me that her daughter might be giving up ballet for good because the bone has worn away in her ankle to such a degree that she will be having surgery to fix it.  Ballet is not for the faint of heart or weak bodied.   Her daughter is in 7th grade.  She has been dancing at the performing level for a few years and just got her pointe shoes.  She dances 4 hours a day most days and now she will have to go cold turkey.  7th grade and her bone has worn away.....I really can't fathom that. 

 It makes me wonder what road my own daughter is starting down with ballet.   She is only in 3rd grade but she has 3 classes a week.   She swings between loving ballet and not wanting to go at all.  Time will tell if ballet wins out over basketball, soccer, softball, and school plays.  I'd like for her to be able to take ballet just as a class to enjoy in its own right and not fall into the trap of viewing it as a stepping stone to professional ballet.    So very few make it that far......and the price they pay to travel that road is higher than I would be willing to pay. 

This mom's sad story was most definitely the warning sign I needed today.  I missed Mass but I think I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

bad morning / good book

This morning did not go well.  I let the kids sleep in because I thought they needed it.  Okay I let them sleep in because I was half asleep on the couch myself waiting for my cup of coffee to kick in.  Those 15 minutes were not worth it.    4 out of 5 kids surveyed this morning were grouchy, snappy, and accident prone.  One mother left to deal with these folks was not so pleasant herself.  Probably a candidate for help from SuperNanny.

After dropping them off at school and vowing to go back to bed I picked up one of my partially unread library books.  Positive Discipline For Children With Special Needs  by Jane Nelsen, ED.D., et al.  ( note: is that how you say and others in latin?)  Looking in the front cover I see that this book is actually part of  a series of books on Positive Discipline. 

I grabbed this book from the library to begin with because I am at my wits end with my DD #2 who is taking out her frustration with school at home on me and anyone in her path.   All who know her tell me she keeps it together all day long at school but she gets home and is a screaming mess.    Which turns me into a screaming mess, and that's only me if we are lucky!  I also have DD#4 who has begun kindergarten and also in the same boat  for similar reasons. 

So I am going to try this book's advice out and be done with time out in the traditional sense.  I'm off to buy a bean bag to give the future offender or should I say "child with the mistaken goal" a place to chill out and calm down.   I"d better buy a big one because I'm pretty sure this person might be me.    Can't wait to tell the kids, " mommy's going to Alaska" and then plop myself down.

Big Mistake in Newsweek 9/12/11 issue

Okay so this is a week late.  The Sept 12, 2011  issue of Newsweek had a glaring mistake in it.  They identified Todd Beamer one of the many heroes of flight 93, the "let's roll" namesake as Scott Beamer.  Yes, they renamed him as they tried to honor him.
Page 11 of this issue lives up to it's title NewsBeast,  Under Who We Admire is where the mistake occurs.
"The first heroes of emerged in the first moments of the tragedy: Scott Beamer and the passengers of United Flight 93..."
   Hmmm, the stranger thing is that I've heard nothing about this error. Not even a mention in the next issue.  Has Newsweek become irrelevant?  Nobody noticed.  It's akin to someone talking to themself in the corner while the party rages on. 

I still have my subscription but I wonder why when I have to take pains to hide it from the elementary readers in my house.  I don't think Tina Brown passed down the memo that profanity isn't edgy but rather shows a  lack of vocabulary.   That's bad enough but now I will definitely think twice as I read and wonder, did they get the facts right? 

Above the law in Arizona?

The fight in Arizona over a law proposed to enforce federal law that requires non-citizens to have proper documentation should be insulting to law abiding citizens and non citizens alike of any color. Since when are people above the law for any reason?

My heart goes out to any children of illegal immigrants hurt when their parents are inevitably caught when this law is enforced. I feel the same for children who are hurt, no matter what their background may be, when their parents break the law and are faced with the consequences.

We moan and groan about this being a cultural problem, this lack of responsibility toward ourselves and our families. However there is a fix, it begins with each person taking responsibility one choice at a time.

clues to the election

Obama won. Conservatives the nation over are asking, " how did this happen- is America blind?" The short answer is yes.



Those who elected Obama have purposefully turned a blind eye toward the facts, steadfastly refusing to question any sketchy information that made its way forward. Obama's surface is so smooth and shiny that it reflected what many voters wanted to see, namely themselves. Before any one is quick to judge think harder about why this happened. African americans and other people of color have had so many distorted mirrors held up to them for many, many years ( even recently think of CNN's Black in America- that didn't reflect any of the black people I know.) that when some one finally reflected the good in them at least on the surface people of all races swarmed toward that image. NO ONE WENT BENEATH THE SURFACE! When surrounded by ugliness for so long and presented with a beautiful image the last thing you want to do is scratch the image. However what American's might have bought themselves is fool's gold. I pray that isn't so.



Blindness isn't just common to Obama supporters, those who supported McCain are not immune. As Americans many of us claim to be color blind. However that doesn't make us a nation of various shades of gray. Part of America's vibrancy is its color and the color is only skin deep. Each one of us beautifully shaded by our Lord in his own image. The Bible tells us that God is love. John1 4:8 As Christians when we have failed to embrace each other as children of God beautifully and wonderfully made we have failed to embrace God himself. We have failed to love.

This will be the challenge for America in the coming years to love one another while we struggle to create a culture of life in America that celebrates and protects al lives from their beginnings to their natural ends. We cannot fall into the snare of hating those with whom we disagree, even if our disagreement is of the most serious nature. We are called to love by Him who first loved us.

Palin Rocks Fort Wayne

The Palin rally tonight was worth the wait. I left most of the kids home with Dad and brought DD#1. Despite the cold and really long wait we had a great time. Nosebleed seats on the concrete next to the actual seats behind the stage our actual "seats" could not have been worse but her speech reached us just the same.

The theme hammered home was lowering taxes because citizens know best what to do with their own money as well as defending "Joe the Plumber" for just asking a simple question to which he responded to Obama's answer truthfully. "To spread the weatlth around" really does sound like socialism.

As a mom of a special needs daughter she further cemented my support by her hopeful and proactive words in support of special needs children, her desire to challenge Americans to accept and further integrate these children into our society.

My greatest wish now is that these children are not forgotten as our health insurance system is overhauled. I don't want these children who already have too many labels attached to them being tacked on with pre-existing condition and as a result be denied the coverage they so desperately need.

election mess

Today somebody asked me what would happen if we all just decided not to vote in this election? As a practical answer I answered quickly and incorrectly that the presidency would then fall to Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. Later in the day I rehashed the conversation with my husband and realized that duh, it would be Dick Cheney. Either direction is scary. The question itself is what' s really sad. How many others feel that way?

As eloquent a speaker as Obama is I can't come to grips with his abortion stance. It just seems so disconnected from humanity to cast a vote in what appears to be a case of letting a string of faulty logic play itself out to conclude that an aborted baby that somehow lives should not be saved. Just wrong headed and it makes me question how else he would let things play out here and abroad just because in his mind a+b must = c. A leader's logic must be tempered by his faith and with Obama I just don't see that.

McCain pulling Palin onboard is also an odd one. If she was picked for her faith and conservative policies as a governor the campaign should really just leave it at that and let Palin speak to what she knows. What on earth inspired her to claim knowledge of Russia just because of a precarious view of it from her office or home or wherever in Alaska? I could hear sea lions from my bedroom in San Francisco but that does't make me an oceanographer! The blind insistance of politicians of being all things to all people chips away at them until we no longer know who they are.

What speaks to me thankfully are not her words but her actions. She and her husband chose life for their littlest one. Fear didn't determine her choice but rather faith. I can only assume that the same faith led her to accept McCain's offer of the VP spot. Faith doesn't preclude misteps, I am a living testimony to that and so is Sarah Palin. We all are learning on the job no matter what we call our work. Her tasks for the weeks ahead are to convince voters that she is a quick learner and stop pretending to be what she isn't. Be proud, be pollyanna!

chore jar

Yeah, it's come to this, the chore jar. I don't like starting these organizational tools because I invariably stop them for some reason and then feel guilty that I stopped. However after 4 days this appears to be working for everyone who is old enough to get the concept. My nearly 2 year old prefers to shake the jar and try to hurl it as far as she can across the kitchen table. No harm no foul, it's plastic.

The kids pick their own slip of paper with a chore on it and then do said chore. My 5 and 7 year olds still need quite a bit of guidance but my older two are eating this up b/c they choose what they do and don't feel like I'm unfairly dishing out chores. The good thing I added is an oh so brief sit down with the white board to show the kids what the day holds activity wise so we can decide on a time to pick the chores and do them. Depending on the day and how busy it is , we might just pick one or if we have time we can pick more. And as I 'm checking out the progress I can mentally note what else needs to be broken down into paper slips and added to the jar.

One big exception is the kitchen. Clearing and washing dishes is the kids responsibilty on the nights that we are not rushing off to the baseball field or elsewhere.

The system will need to be tweaked but it is up and running. The miracle of miracles, our house is becoming cleaner this summer with not so much grumbling . I've heard it takes 3 weeks to create a habit, check with me in 3 to see if this is still going.

Man in the mirror

There's an article in Good Housekeeping this month that's about dealing with people you can't stand. Sad to say I thought of my children first. I read the article and was struck by the section Turn The Spotlight On You...... "People who irritate us usually have something to show us about ourselves." Talk about hitting close to home. My recent dust ups with DD#1 and DS#1 really point this out to me in technicolor! I've been nagging non-stop about orderliness, attitude, and the need to eat healthier ( no small trick with Easter Candy still around) when really I could just be playing that same loop tape in my own walkman. Ugh... I noticed on www.testosterhome.com that blogger said that she missed Lent already. I think I see what she means about the slowed pace that Lenten reflection invites but I also think I missed the boat in our family. Maybe if I just believe, I can also step out onto the water and walk towards Christ. So I will pick myself up and try, try again.

oh yuck

There' s a line in Mrs. Doubtfire where the little girl says with horror, " diarrhea forever?!" I think my DD#2 must be feeling this way. She's been home sick since Monday with the stuff. Poor thing has been either on the couch or on the potty ever since she came home with this. Originally I was concerned this was caused by something she ate, that maybe she had something in addition to lactose intolerance like Irritable Bowel but this has gone on all week! So I will keep my fingers crossed that she improves today.

Here is a quick tip that will save you parents out there time, anguish, and perhaps money.... If your child has diarrhea do not feed him or her red jello! It has never happened to my other kids but this red jello went right through her and we thought she was bleeding. This went on for hours and so I called the pediatrician who in turn told me that the only way to know for sure is to take a sample to the hospital to be examined in the lab. This occurred to us the other night and of course worried mom that I was, I dutifully brought DD#2 to the ER with sample ( don't ask!) and proceeded to wait and wait. The next day I called the pediatrician for the results and no, it was not blood.

We are in the clear now so to speak, no more red jello, only clear and lemon flavored things. Let's hope that DD#2 wakes up feeling better.

mommy vs the bikini

I have ruined her life. Absolutely none of her friends will be dressed like her. Why does she have to be different? All this drama for the mama because I won't buy my nine year old a bikini. Truly I must be from ancient times and have a heart carved out of ice. Nevermind that I have purchased two piece bathing suits for her as recently as last summer. I just happen to have drawn the line at triangle shaped scraps of material for preteens.

To her I'm just all that stands in the way between her and the slumber party of the year. I actually feel her pain and remember when I thought my mom was so unfair. I'd like to take her aside and explain to her that her mommy did indeed wear a bikini as a teen but that she in fact isn't even past the age for requiring children's tylenol. However I won't. She will try my patience again and again over this with heart wrenching sobs and equally ear splitting shrieks of indignation and misery. However I think I will have to be Mt. Kilmanjaro or Everest. I am there to be climbed but immovable. Time will march on and she will also turn into a teen with a bikini much to her daddy's horror. Yet it won't be me, it will be time that has passed and I'm sure another line to draw in the sand.

In weak moments I actually wonder if I am just somehow out of touch and should just get with it. Is this a case of changing fashions or changing standards? I guess a little bit of both, ok alot of both. I dig in my spurs a bit when I think since when does a twelve year old without a job need to have a cell phone to call his own? Is the whole school really IMing each other? I'd prefer that my kids could actually spell accurately 90% of the time before they start texting and cranking out IM's to their bff's or bf's or whoever, whatever as they might say. When did it become desirable for kids to be miniaturized adults? Ralph Lauren ads? What does it say about us as adults when we fail to provide lines of demarcation on the path from childhood to adulthood? If they jump through all the hoops by age 7 what's left for them to strive towards? A job? Kids of their own to hurry along?

Delayed gratification is a quaint beauty in our culture. I'm hoping my kids come to know its features well and in time even appreciate it. For now though preteen angst is the rule and mom is just so mean.

party planning

Hmmm....how to entertain a bunch of first graders that doesn't involve trashing my house? Yes, it's party planning time and I'm looking for ideas that can be done outside that have an autumn theme. decorating mini-pumpkins? bobbing for apples? My goal is to not attract bees in the process. This is why I am not a preschool teacher. I am definitely a mom that has to outsource the arts and crafts portion of childhood. useful comments are oh so welcome here.

I am Alice

Now that I've finally gotten myself back on the blog I can't think of a thing to type. So the stream of consciousness thing will have to do for now.

Busy, busy, busy fall but that's the way it is for everyone. No sense whining. Ages ago I blogged about "where's my Alice?" the ever-present, always helpful housekeeper for the Brady's who kept that ship afloat. I still live in the Brady Bunch house with the addition of DD#4 but I've come to realize that I am Alice. It's crazy around here but truthfully I wouldn't have it any other way, I'd just like some tips to manage the chaos.

Blog, what blog?

So I'm not the most up to date blogger Google has ever known.....a few things have gone on since my last post over a year ago. Dear Daughter #4 made her arrival last summer. That's the biggie. We briefly thought we were moving this Spring. In hindsight that should have been crazy making but it turned into more of a Spring Cleaning on steroids. I'm just grateful that I didn't donate all the kids winter clothes! the mom's life....always looking ahead until you trip over the mess at your feet! Speaking of which, while I've been typing a boxful of cheerios has been dumped......

hiatus

I've taken a hiatus from the Blog Hunter column. I know I needed to do it for a variety of reasons but I still feel a little strange. I am not sure when or if I will carve out the time and space to do that again. I wonder if anyone will even notice the column is missing? In time maybe I won't even notice, and the Blog Hunter will be just a footnote in my history.

Hiatus, it sounds like such a fancy word. What I really should have said is that I'm taking an extended time out. There's the mommy talking......

Maybe just a shift, and just like an older car, it can be hard to change gears once you've been in one awhile. Clearly this is not a mechanic talking.

Lysol bomb

I have been joking with everyone I meet lately that my house needs a "Lysol bomb". What put me over the edge was finding out DD#2 had step throat. I like to use antibiotics only when needed but upon hearing this latest addition to the family petri dish I quickly mentioned my other kids sore throats and tummy aches to the nurse to ensure their very own 10- day regimens. After remembering our early morning cuddle in mom and dad's bed with the germy girl I promptly called my own doctor as well. It wasn't too hard of a sell to get a RX for my husband and me. Mention the word strep and people run screaming away from you. Now the question is, will this work? Can we kill all bacteria in a 10 day period and drive other viruses far far away?

As long as the kids keep leaving the house and breathing near other children I'd have to say no but I can always dream . But for now the hand washing speech will have to do. You'll know things have gone down hill if you happen to drive by a house with a huge plastic bubble drapped over it with Lysol printed in big, bold, blue letters.

flu babies

They ALL have the flu. The school week has been 1 out of 5 for DS and 2 1/4 out of 5 for DD#1. She came home early Wednesday after repeatedly trying to tell her teacher that her throat hurt during Mass. She can be a bit ummm, dramatic and so her tears were brushed off by all until the school nurse took her temperature and it was near 100. She came home, perked up and I was left wondering just what was going on as her temp was normal each time I took it with my trusty ear thermometer. By the end of the day every child was pasty feverish mess.

After a night of feverish children with DS and DD#3 throwing up, a group pediatrician visit was in order the next morning. Again at home with my trusty ear thermometer DD#1 had no temperature. Of all the kids she looked the best and I wondered if I had called it wrong keeping her home with the rest. But I reminded myself that temperature was not always an accurate reflection of how she felt. She always has been one tough cookie. As a baby she would get ear infections that only became evident in hindsight as I would take her to the pediatrician after not being able to soothe my grouchy angry baby.

So I about fell over in the exam room after explaining DD#1's history when the nurse said, " yup she' s got a temp of 100". Guess what not so trusty device of mine is headed to the garbage can? At least the batteries inside will be headed that way! And the kicker is this, she didn't even say "told ya so". It might have been easier if she had b/c right now I feel terrible for misjudging her this week.

Did I mention DH is returning home tonight? Some guys have all the luck.